Monthly Support Group

Fear of Losing Another

March 14th at 4:30pm

485 Crystal Hills Blvd

Manitou Springs, CO

That He might render powerless him who had the power of death,

this is, the devil, and might free those who through

the fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives.

Hebrews 2:14,15

Shortly after Josiah died, sheer heart-stopping panic would overwhelm me every time I heard an ambulance or received a late-night call. Honestly, I still can struggle with the fear of losing "another sparrow."

It took me so much work, prayer and effort to survive the loss of one that - at some level - my own survival is at stake should I lose another. Reality is that some moms lose more than one and some moms lose all.

Daily I walk with Chris who has lost all! She is a severely wounded warrior who is very courageous.

Bottom line? Everyone is going to die some time. All precious, loving human relationships will be parted by death and our worrying cannot add an hour to one's life. (Matthew 6:27)

Just months after Josiah died I received the call. My daughter has been projected through the back window of a rolled Bronco going 70 mph on I-70. She was on her way by ambulance to Swedish Hospital in Denver. The "cords of death" sought to strangle me (Psalm 18:4, 5), as we rushed to Denver. Fortunately she survived and since has gone on to survive melanoma and gnarly bike accident that put her in a wheel chair for a month.

Another son was in the operating room under anesthesia for a completely shattered clavicle (on my birthday) when the power went out in the entire hospital. Panicked, I flew from the waiting room into the operating room itself, where they had an ambu-bag on him until the generator kicked in. He, too, survived. 

Miracles, you say? Was it not just as much a miracle that our Josiah was taken up into eternity by angels? I have learned it is not mine to judge, which is the miracle.

I try not to hover over my kids as a helicopter mom or grandmother. But I still do. It's a false sense of holding the keys of life and death. 

Do not be afraid. I am the first and last, the Living One.

I was dead and behold I am alive forevermore

and I have the keys of death and of Hades.

Revelation 1:17, 18